Photography Extraordinaire . . .

  . . . . okay, not really - but none the less: I introduce to you my budding photography skills.

No need for the standing ovation. Just hold your applause. Ha!

A Year Ago . . . . I was 9 Months Pregnant!

Today I was thinking about the fact that a year ago, I was 9 months pregnant and anxiously awaiting Ry's arrival. We had an absolutely wonderful shower before she arrived

But I was so nervous. Would I be a good mom? Would Ryanne love me? Could I really deliver her? Or would she be trapper forever? Could I nurse? Would she eat? How would I change her diapers? What if I didn't know I was in labor (ha!ha!) ?

Looking back, I had so many unnecessary apprehensions and today, I just roll with the punches. So what if she eats dirt - it won't hurt her. (kidding, well sort of) Anyway, I thought I would share some pics of my newborn baby before I can't call her an infant anymore.

Trey and I before she I delivered her

Sweet newborn Ry

Our little family~!

Dad and Ry

My two loves sleeping away

Rocker Baby!

Trey and I had been thinking about getting Ry a rocking chair for her birthday, but wondered if she would like it. This past Sunday, we let her play in a baby rocking chair at Trey's grandparents. Oh my, did she ever like it! I thought she was not going to get out of it, or if she did it would be from rocking so hard she fell out. It was hilarious! I just love watching her learn new things and grow.

On another note, earlier this week I turned it my two week notice at work to pursue my college degree full time. I will so much enjoy having more time with Ry, but I look forward to working full force toward a career as well. I am working toward becoming a medical dosimetrist. UAMS only takes 4 people per year - so say a prayer for me!!

Christening

This past Sunday was an important day in our lives. Ryanne was the fourth generation of my husband's family to be Christened at Roe Methodist Church. It was really a wonderful experience.

Before Sunday, I had many reservations about the whole process. But I'm glad that we decided to do it. As I stood there with Ry in front of the Church, I simply could not imagine my life without her or before her. Before Sunday, I felt very defeated. Very much like I was never going to get anywhere that I wanted to go. There are many days that I feel unsatisfactory because I'm not where I think I should be in my career (or lack of one). God showed me how wrong I was looking at things. I have a beautiful new home, and a wonderful husband and the most precious baby girl. And now, Thank God, I have the opportunity to not work full time so that I can devote my time to finishing school and reaching for that career I used to dream of.

Here are some pictures from Ry's Christening. Enjoy.

 My little Family!

While Ry is Being Christened

Ry with Bro. Joe

Us with Trey's grandparents

Us with Trey's Parents

Us with Uncle Alex

Trey and I with My Fam

Thankful Thursday - Many Blessings

"Give thanks to the LORD, for he is good; his love endures forever." - Psalm 145:7 (NIV)

So I have decided to start a new tradition. I don't know if it will stick, but for now meet thankful thursdays. My husband and I have been in and out of churches searching for the right one for the past several months , and have made a new commitment to ourselves and to our family to pray together every night, and to be thankful for the blessings in our life. Don't get me wrong, to all you new readers out there, I am not perfect. Far from it. I cuss (way too frequently). I get mad. I yell. and I'm not nice sometimes. But I'm trying to be better. I'm trying to be thankful. I really do have so many blessings and sometimes I just feel defeated. I think it will help me to hold my head high if I recognize some of the things in my life I have to be thankful for.

This past week, I think I have cried myself to sleep about 3 times, maybe more. I simply am not where I hoped to be in life. I had so much going for me when I left high school, and so much ahead of me. All (Not all, but a lot of) the things I said I would never do, I did. All the things I said I would do, I didn't. Right now, I "should've been" a college graduate heading off to graduate school, getting prepared to be married and working on the beginnings of a fabulous career. None of this is true.

I am at least two years from college graduation, and I left my dream school to move back home. Oh yeah, thankful thursday. All of my "dreams" did not come true. But instead, God has blessed me with a new - but definetely different - set of dreams for my life, and many of those new dreams have been fulfilled.

I have a wonderful husband that I never dreamed of having, and he is truly my best friend and such a wonder to have in my life.

I have a beautiful baby girl that is full of happiness and wonder.

I have a gorgeous brand new house. I have an exceptional family. I have my Dad back, and his wife and her daughter. It is so great to really be able to spend time with him again. I have so many blessings that it is really unfair to think otherwise, or to worry about the judgement that people pass on me because I didn't do everything I was capable of.

I look at my life some days and think that I am a failure. I didn't graduate summa cum laude from the U of A. I am not a Razorback alumni as I always dreamed of being. I didn't go to medical school, and I probably won't cure cancer. I didn't do things the "accepted way" but I did them my way.  I'm not sure I could've made through the loss of my grandpa if I didn't know that I had Ryanne on the way. My daughter goes to daycare, and I have no control over it. God knows best. I sometimes wonder where I would be at if I hadn't made some of the choices I did, but then I think that I wouldn't have my sweet daughter or my wonderful hubby. WHEN I do graduate college, it will be so much more rewarding because I did it despite the trials I faced along the way. Victory will be mine.

Please don't judge me, I'm a perfectionist. Hahaha!