Friday, July 22, 2011


Above all, love each other deeply, because love covers over a multitude of sins. ~ 1 Peter 4:8 

Marriage is not always easy, and can certainly be a challenge. Disagreements will happen.

Like when your spouse squeezes the toothpaste from the middle . . .

Or puts the dishes in the sink instead of the dishwasher . . .

Or leaves his socks by the foot of the bed to ward off monsters and intruders (I'm convinced that's the only reason those rank things aren't in the garbage) . . .

Or hangs your shirts in the wrong color sequence . . .

Oh, that's just me? Good, I'd hate to think other couples argue over such silly things. ; )

Marriage was a difficult adaptation for me because I've never really depended on someone going through life. I was always stuck on being independent after many people had let me down through the years. One of our biggest struggles in the early days of our relationship was Trey's insistence that I didn't trust him to help me and support me.

He was right.

In marriage (and life), change is a good thing.

Marriage is like getting a pair of socks broken in. At first, they are so tight that they give don't give you any room to breathe. But with time, their grip loosens to a comfortable snugness. You know they're going to keep you warm, protect you, and cushion you at all the right times.

Okay, dumb analogy, I know. But really, I believe that for marriage to be successful you both have to be willing to adapt as you both age, and to compromise as you both change.

Have you ever watched water after the rain? It starts as many small streams and eventually merges into one raging river that carves it own path, able to overcome anything blocking its way.

A strong marriage should be like that raging river.

The two of you should be on the same path, but willing to change that path together through compromise and adaptation.

The two of you, through communication, can sweep obstacles out of your way.

You can overcome boundaries and hurdles together with the power of a strong marriage.

I've heard all the cliche' advice: Never go to bed angry, Have patience, Keep him satisfied, Keep your own hobbies/friends, Happiness is about perspective, etc . . .

In my marriage, communication is key. I have also had to learn that my way is not the right way.

When we got married, and even when Ryanne was born, I critiqued Trey's ways of doing things rather than being glad that he was doing them.

I had to learn that in this small sense, and also in the bigger sense, that your ways are not always the right ways and often there are no wrong ways.

If the two of you can come together, and someone get everything done through communication and compromise, it doesn't matter how you got there.

The way the towels were folded, the diapers arranged, or the water boiled is not the issue, but rather that the two of you are working together to build a home which is the most beautiful thing of all.

Above all else, keep God at the center of your marriage, your life, and your friendship with your spouse and your marriage will be wonderful.

Place me like a seal over your heart, like a seal on your arm; for love is as strong as death, its jealousy unyielding as the grave. It burns like blazing fire, like a mighty flame. Many waters cannot quench love; rivers cannot wash it away. If one were to give all the wealth of his house for love, it would be utterly scorned. ~ Song of Solomon 8: 6-7

Bear with each other and forgive whatever grievances you may have against one another. Forgive as the Lord forgave you. And over all these virtues put on love, which binds them all together in perfect unity.   ~ Colossians 3: 13-14


A Wedding Story said...

I loved this post! It is all SO true! :)

Jillian said...

What an a amazing post! If more people that got divorced would think this way they wouldn't be divorced!

BerryMorins Bits & Tips said...

May your and husband continue to be blessed with a good life together!

Lori Alexander said...

"My way is not the right way" good. It took me^^ too many years to figure that one out. Good that you figured it out sooner rather than later.


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