Friday, May 27, 2011

End of an Era . . .

For the last six months, I've stayed home (almost) full-time with Ryanne while I finished my nursing schools prerequisites. It has been challenging, but wonderful all at the same time. It is so rewarding to be able to be with her every day and see her learn and grow, but it is also a constant test of my patience. But what part of parenting isn't? ; )

Six months ago when I registered for these 27 hours, I thought this day would never come. It seemed so far away, but yet here it is.

On Tuesday, Ryanne starts a new preschool full time, and I start back to school. This summer, I'll be in class from 8-5 Monday thru Friday. During the fall and spring semesters, it will be a little less time on campus, but I'm sure no less demanding. I'm so ready to start this to get on with my life, per say, but at the same time I'm not ready to say goodbye to my sweet girl.

In ways, I feel like I'm cheating her because she won't get to spend as much time with me while I'm in school. When I finish in two years, I'll have my BSN and I intend to work nights so I can stay home with  Ryanne and (hopefully) the rest of my kiddos. In the meantime, however, I feel like I'm leaving her empty handed because she has to go to school full time and miss out on that time with me for the next two years.

When I first went to college, I had no idea what life was really about. I aspired to this great career, and really had zero perspective about the truly important things in life. Ryanne has since shown me that the valuable things really can't be bought, and though they are achievements, they are not materialistic achievements. Memories are really the most valuable thing I will ever own.

It's so difficult at times to be at peace with my choices, but I have to trust that in the end it will work out for the best, and that God is leading me where he sees fit.

Throughout my life, his choices and plans have always proven to be so much greater than mine. As I cherish these last few days at home with my sweet girl for now, I will cling to the memories and know that she will be well taken care of and learn so much in the days to come.


Savanah said...

Good luck in your nursing school journey! I graduated from nursing school in 2007 so I've been there! If you ever need anything let me know :)

Jillian said...

praying for you during this time!!

Ashlee said...

I completely feel your pain. It's so hard to leave them, but sometimes that's what God's plan is for us. I love being at home, but I feel I'm a better mom when I have days away from home. I think God knows that too! ;)
I start work in just over a week. Even though I've been in school, the regularity of work is even more daunting to me. I have major guilt, but I know this is where God wants me. I wish you the best in your summer semester! What classes are you taking?


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