Six months ago when I registered for these 27 hours, I thought this day would never come. It seemed so far away, but yet here it is.
On Tuesday, Ryanne starts a new preschool full time, and I start back to school. This summer, I'll be in class from 8-5 Monday thru Friday. During the fall and spring semesters, it will be a little less time on campus, but I'm sure no less demanding. I'm so ready to start this to get on with my life, per say, but at the same time I'm not ready to say goodbye to my sweet girl.
In ways, I feel like I'm cheating her because she won't get to spend as much time with me while I'm in school. When I finish in two years, I'll have my BSN and I intend to work nights so I can stay home with Ryanne and (hopefully) the rest of my kiddos. In the meantime, however, I feel like I'm leaving her empty handed because she has to go to school full time and miss out on that time with me for the next two years.
When I first went to college, I had no idea what life was really about. I aspired to this great career, and really had zero perspective about the truly important things in life. Ryanne has since shown me that the valuable things really can't be bought, and though they are achievements, they are not materialistic achievements. Memories are really the most valuable thing I will ever own.
It's so difficult at times to be at peace with my choices, but I have to trust that in the end it will work out for the best, and that God is leading me where he sees fit.
Throughout my life, his choices and plans have always proven to be so much greater than mine. As I cherish these last few days at home with my sweet girl for now, I will cling to the memories and know that she will be well taken care of and learn so much in the days to come.