Sunday, October 31, 2010

Halloween

Halloween is just not a fun day. I have never really been into the whole dress-up-scare-someone's-pants-off-ridiculous-$50-costume-tradition. Ever. Two years ago today, I lost the greatest man in my life. Don't get me wrong, I am beyond blessed with my wonderful husband, but in a totally different way. My Poppa fought a hard fight against pancreatic cancer, and went to be with our Lord on Halloween night. I remember the long drive back from Fayetteville. Three hours in the pouring down rain. Three long, dreadful hours. I didn't know at this point that he had passed away, but I knew it was coming . . . that it was only a matter of time. He was always my hero. So strong, invincible, amazing. I questioned how this could happen to him? How could he be sick? How could God try me like that? Why did Poppa have to leave us? Earlier in the week, we had all discussed with doctors the illness that Poppa was facing. We had made the dreadful decision to take him off of life support. He was already gone, but it didn't make that decision any easier. What if we gave up too early? What if he was still there and just couldn't tell us to hang on? What if we made the wrong choice? Today, I look back and still have my fears and pain, but more than that I have MILLIONS of wonderful memories. He taught me so many wonderful things, and more than that God taught me wonderful things through his loss.

Weeping may remain for a night, but rejoicing comes in the morning. ~Psalm 30:5




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