There are no sick days or lunch breaks. You will eat your meals cold, and be prepared to console the baby or clean up after the toddler while toilet hugging. These are your new job duties.
Clean now means that you can actually see the floor through the fisher price explosion in your living room.
You will never pee the same way again.
Long showers are kind of like getting a bonus after the economy crashed. Unless you are lucky enough to sneak one in at nap time. Which is kind of like escaping a mob of lions while running through the desert with steaks around your neck.
Poop will make you excited. Whether it's because it's the right color, consistency, or just because it appeared altogether. You will be excited.
Don't judge the woman with a toddler and a newborn pushing two carts through the veggie section while funneling her toddler M&Ms. She has great negotiating skills.
Pee with the door closed. (You didn't know I was going to talk about urination twice in one post did you? Please don't judge me) This might happen again after your kids move to college. The other reference gets no better while you experience empty nest syndrome.
Do things at the spur of the moment. You don't have to pack the kitchen sink, and that's a luxury.
Most importantly: love your body for what it is. Although the glory of childbirth is mesmerizing at worst, your body will NEVER be the same afterward. Cherish it. Even if you have a mole on the back of your left knee. Or a scar under your belly button. Those will soon be the least of your worries.
But no matter what the cost, cuddling and laughing on the couch with this sweet face makes it totally worth it. (And knowing that bedtime is at most hours away) ; )